Up until this, I thought things were okay in our marriage, though of course we haven’t had much couple time with the demands of four children but this discovery has come as a bolt out of the blue. I still feel really unhappy about what he has done. When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line. Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people. ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.